I had given my best. I should not have been bound by the flaxen cords* of an adversary. So I was told, such was I taught. Far from perfect, I had given the best of what I had to offer. Was not the atonement there to take care of the rest? So I trusted what I was told. I did what was taught. The plan was set forth with promised happiness to be found. You must lose yourself to find yourself, a better self, a selfless self… to qualify as a godly self. With eternity at stake and a line that must not be broken, my journey began down the path of covenants with the only consent that a mere child can give. As I labored down that path laden with the expectations of generations past and future; there was no room for my own. With eternity on the line, to carry one’s own expectations would just be selfish. There is no time for your own needs in this life, no room for desires when there is so much work to be done and the salvation of so many others at stake....
After spending more than four decades in the Mormon church, I decided to write about it.